He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
