hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize