I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
