so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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