this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
