nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
