Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
