I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
