She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
FUCK WHALES
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
