Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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