good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
