You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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