I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
