I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
