he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Terrible idea I love it
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
