smell my finger.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
