She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
