big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
