smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
