Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
