I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
