I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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