kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize