Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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