i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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