Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
