Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
