I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
