They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
