Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
