i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
