My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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