the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
