i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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