Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
