sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
