And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
