I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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