Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Sorry my hands just texted you
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
