so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
