Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
