The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
