very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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