My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
