You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize