You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
