Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
