My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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