Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
organizing the empties. That sober.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
