Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
