Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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