Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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