so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
