A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
