Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
