I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
