I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
so let's talk penis.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
