you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
