It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
