it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
