So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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