talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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