i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
