remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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