u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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